Bowser, I Know What You Are: Bisexual

In a Super Mario 64 boss battle, Mario, the super strong plumber, tosses Bowser, a giant turtle dragon, into a series of bombs to do damage to him. When he spins and throws his foe into the explosive, he yells something that fans have misheard for decades as “So long, gay Bowser.” Former Mario voice actor Charles Martinet has since clarified that the line is actually “So long, king Bowser,” but the character’s heavy Italian accent plus the Nintendo 64’s compressed sound output made it sound like Mario was claiming Bowser’s flames came from somewhere other than his fire breathing. 

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is a 98-minute barrage of references to Mario history, and while it was absolutely not Illumination’s intention, I’m choosing to believe that Bowser giving Mario a sloppy wet kiss is a reference to this 30-year-old meme, and am prepared to dig in my heels on the claim that Bowser is absolutely a pendulum swinging both ways. I’m sure some conservative parent was miffed that Bowser kissed Mario, but I was not mad because it gives me and all the other Bisexual Bowser truthers ammunition. 

💋#bowuigi #Luigi#TheSuperMarioGalaxyMovie#Mariobros #NintendoDirect#bowigi #bowuigi #Bowser #Luigi pic.twitter.com/lxWpaidILN

— 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐫 (@redr5114) April 2, 2026

Obviously, Bowser’s got the hots for Peach. That’s been proven time and time again as he has attempted to woo her over the years in games and in the movies, but what is the heterosexual explanation for this piece of artwork?

I didn’t notice this

BOWSER PAINT LUIGI, AND HE’S KISSING HIS LEG AAAAAAHHBXJDBDKDNDN#Bowuigi #Nintendo #SuperMarioGalaxyMovie pic.twitter.com/ieurG1mDnJ

— Anherike_kusuru (@Anherike) April 2, 2026

In the movie, Bowser has been shrunken down to a size so small that he can’t hurt anyone, but Mario and Peach aren’t so cruel that they wouldn’t give the villain a nice place to live. In fact, his little prison house is downright cozy. My guy has taken up art as a new hobby, and when he’s not painting himself ripped with Peach by his side or painting his archnemesis as a terrified skeleton, he’s…painting himself being worshipped by both men and women. Luigi, Mario’s brother who has apparently kindled a friendship with Bowser in his captivity, is depicted wrapped around the Koopa King’s leg, fawning over him and kissing his thigh. Who paints this if they don’t have a little bit of sweetness to them?

Though Bowser may plant one on Mario, Nintendo and Illumination probably knew better than to have him kiss Luigi considering the small but very loud and passionate fans who have shipped the two for years. They were already playing with fire with that scene in the first movie in which Bowser interrogates Luigi while twirling his mustache, and making Bowser give Luigi a smooch would send those fans (including myself) into overdrive. A forbidden romance while Luigi’s disapproving older brother eventually comes around because Bowser makes Luigi happy? Tell me you don’t see the vision. Though Bowser doesn’t kiss Luigi in the movie, their loving glances and closeness are giving the Bowuigi shippers some crumbs.

My Bowuigi crumbs 😭 pic.twitter.com/Sc62M1DtCv

— Sou (@Souxie_43) April 2, 2026

Bowser will never stop chasing after Peach, but maybe he should consider chasing after someone who seems more open to the idea, like Luigi. Just make the third movie a romcom about them, Illumination. Then you’ll make $2 billion at the box office instead of a measly $1 billion.