goblinAmerica for PC (Early Access)

Discover the dark tunnels and deep places of a world beneath our own. You are a solarcel—a spirit invented by the sun. You must possess every U.S. president at the worst moment in each of their lives to correct the course of history and repel the forces of Bedlam. If you do your job, nothing bad will ever happen to anyone that matters. Everybody’s life can be beautiful forever. Blast, bounce, slide, careen, swing, assault, and explode your way across a beautiful world with an unimaginable array of weapons, tools, items, and creams. goblinAmerica’s surface hides deep, strange secrets. You choose how you’ll access them:

Earn precious medals with your dizzying speed, scour the world in search of holy items, or befriend strangers to mutual benefit. The Verminstar cowers in the Land of Being Attacked and commands the forces of Bedlam. An otherworldly swamp roils far from the Yellow Sun’s adoring light. The blighted moon goblins carry out guerilla warfare from their little holes. You need to be every president.

Don’t let us down. For starters, as a lore level, the way this tells the story through an education site is cool, but the main problem is the surfing/browsing. For a bit of context, surfing and Source movement are great, and most hours on Momentum Mod are on surf, so there was a lot of hope for this. Unfortunately, it’s really bad in goblinAmerica. For starters, it’s very jank. Yes, the game in general is, but this is a bit too jank.

When surfing, it shouldn’t be possible to slide down surfaces like they’re slopes or shoot up them like ramps. It’s ironic because it’s surf, but hopefully the point gets across. Secondly, air strafing is incredibly weak in goblinAmerica, making surfing feel so much worse. It’s way too linear and unnatural, and it just isn’t very fun. It either needs to be heavily updated and improved or just flat-out removed.