Minecraft Is About To Reach Potentially Life-Threatening Levels Of Cute

The next major update to Minecraft is going to make all the baby animals over 2,740 percent cuter. I checked the figures using measurements, and by watching the new trailer for the Spring Drop four times over.

It seems that until now, Minecraft has generated its baby animals by scaling down the body size of their adult forms, but keeping the heads the same. And that’s good. That’s worked. But there was room for improvement. In the next update, due in the spring, all the game’s younger animals will receive bespoke designs, complete with all-new animations, sound effects, and the cutest iddle widdle eyes you’ve ever seen.

Seriously, how are we supposed to even cope with those fuzzy lil’ guys? Those bunnies! The new wolf pups! The way the bunnies tip their heads and twitch their ears?!

This is also a splendid piece of game promotion, for a game that requires less advertising than oxygen. Mojang’s Agnes Larsson is infectiously and apporiately excited about the new pups, and it compelling portrays Minecraft as a game that’s interesting far beyond that of the PvP-focused YouTube denizens of LifeSteal or what have you.

I tested the video to its absolute limits, by this morning showing it to my 11-year-old son who is hellbent on a new, tougher exterior, and he melted before it. There were attempts at somewhat patronizing, “Yeah, that’s sweet,” remarks to placate me until he was caught off guard and let out, “KITTENS!” After that, he was n. Some cool credibility was recovered on the reveal that name tags are soon to be craftable, as he let out a YouTuber’s “Yesssssssss,” and carefully noted the ingredients for the task. After that, his Switch lured him away from the video, as he and fellow classmates rushed to work on a new world on their shared Realm before each player was popped out of existence as they were dragged from screen to school. I happily continued watching yet again, until Larsson was once more scratching a real pig’s belly with a rake.

I’m a little bit worried about how I’m going to cope on returning to Donut SMP to a world that is yet to contain those cuboid little chicks, or baby highland cattle that I need to hug until they pop.

All of the above is currently available in Snapshot, Beta and Preview versions of Minecraft, although there’s no date for when it will all properly arrive.