The Winter Olympics Will Make Sure Nobody Cheats By Injecting Their Penis With Acid

Are male ski jumpers injecting a specific kind of acid into their penises in order to gain a small advantage over their competitors? Maybe. But if so, don’t worry, Winter Olympics officials are on it.

As reported by the BBC, there’s been a strange rumor floating around men’s ski jumping, and it all started after German newspaper Bild reported in January that some athletes were injecting hyaluronic acid into their penises before being measured by officials for their tight-fitting suits. Why? Apparently, the acid, which is not banned, causes the injected penis to grow in circumference by about one to two centimeters, or a little less than an inch. In theory, this would increase the surface area of the ski suit during jumps, which could possibly increase how far a skier flies and help them eke out a win.

“Every extra centimetre on a suit counts. If your suit has a 5 percent bigger surface area, you fly further,” ski jumping men’s race director Sandro Pertile told the BBC. Before the start of a season, ski jumpers are 3D scanned and measured to create skin-tight suits. Part of the measuring process includes the amount of fabric around the crotch. So a bit more girth could provide a little more fabric, and that could equal a slightly longer jump.

Are ski jumpers injecting acid into their penises to cheat?

There’s just one problem with this wild theory: There is no evidence that it’s happening at the Winter Olympics.

International Ski and Snowboard Federation (FIS) communications director Bruno Sassi told the BBC that there has “never been any indication” nor “evidence” that a male skier has injected hyaluronic acid into their penis to gain an unfair advantage. Though it is also possible that this is happening, and nobody has been caught yet.

“I am not aware of the details of ski jumping, and how that could improve performance,” World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) director Olivier Niggli said when asked about the penis injection claims during a recent Winter Olympics press conference. “If anything was to come to the surface, we would look at it and see if it is doping-related. We don’t address other [non-doping] means of enhancing performance.”

WADA’s Polish president Witold Banka added: “Ski jumping is very popular in Poland, so I promise you I’m going to look at it.”

The Winter Olympics start on Friday in Italy. Men’s ski jumping begins on Monday.