You’re An Idiot If You Give The Billionaire CEO Of GameStop Thousands Of Dollars For A Used Carpet Square

A few minutes ago, I completed and published an article about GameStop’s new basically-gambling scheme that lets people pay $5000 for a random Pokémon card that has a slim chance of being worth more than that, and a high chance of being worth less. I, like a number of other journalists, suggested half-jokingly in the text that GameStop was doing this to raise money toward purchasing e-commerce giant eBay, a website it wants to buy but seemingly cannot afford. Before our article even hit the feeds, I received a bizarre email from GameStop Director of Communications Nicolle Robles. The subject line was, “Actually this is how we are paying for eBay” and the body text was just a link to this:

I’m selling stuff on eBay to pay for eBayhttps://t.co/REaITX9iXr

— Ryan Cohen (@ryancohen) May 6, 2026

okay.

That’s the CEO of GameStop, Ryan Cohen, who has indeed put a number of random items up for sale on eBay, ostensibly to pay for the purchase of all of eBay. The items include some things that are genuinely mildly cool and somewhat rare, including a bunch of retro games like Yoshi’s Cookie and the original Metroid still sealed in their boxes. There’s a Mario NASCAR hood, a large Master Chief statue, and a large Vault Boy statue. Sure, neat.

But then there’s also stuff on here that’s just kind of…trash. There’s the most generic GameStop hat and mug in the world on here — just black with the logo, nothing else. There’s a square of GameStop carpet, listed as “pre-owned” and ripped up from who-knows-what store with who-knows-what having seeped into the fabric over the years. There’s…an iPhone, nothing special about it, just an iPhone. A pair of GameStop store signs from closed GameStop stores, which I guess are kinda neat if you’re a GameStop “fan” but in context just feel a bit self-indulgent. And there’s a PSA 10 trading card of Donald Trump being sworn in back in 2016.

All of these items come with a copy of Cohen’s letter to eBay proposing the purchase, signed by him by hand. So, basically a CEO’s autograph.

©Ryan Cohen

And yet, inexplicably but predictably, people out there somewhere seem to be lapping it up. Cohen seems to have started all of these listings at $0.01, but already, bids are pouring in. As I write this, the pair of store signs have already climbed to over $11,000. They will likely be significantly higher by the time this is published. The most basic hat in the world is currently at over $1,000. The carpet square is also over $1,000. It’s possible these bids are bots, sure. Heck, it could be Cohen himself! Who knows!

All these auctions have a week to rack up bids, and their prices will almost certainly end up in the clouds somewhere, pouring even more cash into Cohen’s pocket. Cohen, whose net worth is estimated at $5.1 billion, and who stands to get a $35 billion payout if he can get GameStop to a high enough market cap, is seemingly $14 billion short of actually being able to purchase eBay like he wants. Ridiculous as all this bidding is, there’s no way Cohen’s little eBay auction is going to drum up anywhere near the needed amount. In the end, it’s all a stunt. Another silly play to get the meme-poisoned audience Cohen and GameStop have courted in recent years behind the brand to inflate the value of its stock, thereby assisting Cohen’s plan to issue even more shares of GameStop stock to make his purchase possible. He’s raising small amounts of real money so he can create some fake money out of it.

Please do not give the billionaire CEO of a flagging gaming retailer and collectibles outlet thousands of dollars, regardless of whether or not he will use to purchase an online auction site. No, not even as a bit. GameStop is closing hundreds of stores every year. I am sure you can find one of those and rip up a square of carpet on the way out for free.