A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms brought back something sorely missed: crude commoners

Never have we loved poop, pee and spit more

The moment Ira Parker, showrunner and executive producer of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, showed Ser Duncan the Tall’s bare ass projectile pooping on screen, I had a singular thought. Crude commoners are back, baby!

Despite Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon’s being set in a world where gore and guts are just as common as fancy feasts and weddings, a large majority of our time in Westeros of late has been spent following the lords and ladies of great houses like the Lannisters, Targaryens, and Tyrells. Power-hungry and exceedingly out-of-touch with reality, they may be, the nobility of Westeros are, for the most part, exceedingly well-mannered. You aren’t going to see Cersei Lannister lean up against a beautiful oak tree and poop all over some roses in the garden of the Red Keep. And while Game of Thrones sometimes indulged in showing us the perspectives (and lewd behavior) of the commonfolk, House of the Dragon is almost entirely focused on the palace intrigue of a Targaryen power struggle.

That’s not the case for A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, in which the lowly hedge knight Dunk (Peter Claffey) sets out on a quest to prove himself at a backwater jousting tournament set miles from anything of importance in Westeros. In a place like that, Dunk isn’t the only commoner who’s not afraid to act a little gross. After Dunk heads to Ashford Meadows to partake in a tourney and earn coin and fame, he comes across several other commoners, such as the master of games, Plummer (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor), and a couple of sex workers.

The former gives Dunk advice on how to enter the tourney, all while spending the majority of his time sucking up the phlegm from deep within his throat, gargling the spit like it's an Olympic sport and then spitting it into a tankard. Even as we see Dunk become more and more visibly distressed, I was morbidly drawn to the downright disgusting noises throughout the entire scene. That’s not to mention Plummer sniffing hard, rubbing his nose on his hands, and then picking up his bread to dip into his soup. Use a towel, man! Gross!

The sex workers Dunk meets aren’t afraid to get a little vulgar either. Sex workers in Westeros have never been shy with their tongues, but considering Dunk is a commoner, same as them, they aren’t afraid to speak their minds. One quips how the knight Dunk is after, is eager to turn the world red with his sexual prowess alone, and the second replies that she’s plenty red as it is after servicing him. Dunk, a blushing virgin, nearly trips trying to get away from the whole conversation. It’s an equally funny and cute scene, but I doubt it would be a conversation we’d be hearing if Dunk were a noble. The sex workers might tease him, but it’s clear he’s one of their own, which lets the audience enjoy some very blue humor, as well as Claffey tripping over his feet to try and get away.

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms has given us a rare gift in following a commoner like Dunk. It’s a fairly low-stakes story compared to Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon, yes, but more importantly, it’s one that lets us live in a far more relatable world where people curse like sailors, and don’t give a damn about destinies or ice zombies beyond some snow-encrusted wall. This means there’s a lot more swearing, a lot more merriment, and a lot more people telling stories about shoving spears up each other’s arses.

No complaints from me. I await the poop, pee, spit, and fart shenanigans of the common people in A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms with bated breath.

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A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms episode 1 is streaming on HBO Max. New episodes air Sundays on HBO.